i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize