I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
