u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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