Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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