I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
