Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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