I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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