Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
