11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
