I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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