Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
