hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
