hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He felt like a one man threesome
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
