apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
