I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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