even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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