Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
