There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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