She is in my trunk
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
