yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
