Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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