i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
