He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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