We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
