is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
