I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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