what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
