Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
