he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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