Are we in a gay sports bar?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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