I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
