I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
