All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
this will be a night to untag.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
