Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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