Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
