Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
