So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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