a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
