One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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