A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
