Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
