Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
