thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
