i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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