DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
