you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
