need another drink. this is the easiest way
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
