no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
