no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
