i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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