would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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