You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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