so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
