ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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