So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
