I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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