quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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