I can tuck mytits in my pants
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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