Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
