i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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