I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize